On Shedding Negative Influences

Choices, Choices, Choices

For a few different personal reasons, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about my childhood and the way others around me were raised. As a person who has served in a leadership position with teenagers before, I find I’m often giving advice to the younger generation. From my sister-in-law, Megan, and my cousin Ashley, both of which are twelve years younger than me, to my son and his friends, I find myself talking to younger people relatively often. I have been asked often for my best bit of advice, so I figured I’d share it here and maybe explain it a little.

The only person you have to answer to about the choices in your life is you.

I may be an adult now, but I was once a kid, like everyone else. When I was a child, I often had to fall in line with the views and values of my family, in an effort to keep things calm. For reasons that are far too personal for a blog post, my family was a rocky (sometimes leaky) boat, and I often found myself making the choices that would keep the rough waves at bay. Sometimes those you’ve lived your life around teach you crappy habits. Sometimes those you’ve lived your life around don’t teach you the kind of values you need to succeed. Sometimes those who should love you the most, don’t want you to be who you are, and will do their best to stifle it–and frighteningly, sometimes they do this while thinking they are HELPING.

Young or old, the best way to combat a problematic childhood is to determine who you want to be and IGNORE THE REST. Now, I’m not claiming this is easy, or even that you have tools for it. Most people don’t when they first strike out on their own, because their lives have been topsy turvy for so long that it’s hard to figure out where to begin. It may take awhile for you to find your way out of the muck.

So where should you begin? Do you know someone whose life seems like it’s going well? Do you wish you could live a life that is as calm as theirs? As adventurous? Do you wish you had their career? Surround yourself with people like that. Talk to them, ask them for guidance, strive to redirect your life in their direction. There will always be negative people in your life. There will always be people trying to drag you down. Find the people who want to help and let them help you. Learn from them.

But more than anything, duplicate their drive. Find out what makes them tick, how they keep themselves motivated. Every single day, stay sharp and redirect yourself towards the life you wish you had but didn’t.

And those people who constantly illustrate the wrong things in life? You know them. The ones who are constantly rolling in drama, having the police called on them, constantly losing friends and family who can’t deal with their crap, who think hard work is a joke, who always look for the easy way out? Those are the kinds of people who hold you back. Because guess what? There are no easy ways out.

The only way to accomplish anything is time and hard work. And the only way you’re going to learn the best way to dedicate that time and hard work? Positive influences. So surround yourself with people who will help you find good resources. And remember that though it won’t ever be easy, you can always break away from where you come from, but you can’t break away from who you become. So put yourself and your own development first. And keep moving onward and upward.

 

“Blue Ice” has been published!

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The latest issue of The Corvus Review is out and page 25 features my short story, “Blue Ice”. This is a six page dynamo of a story that I love dearly. The tale of a woman forced to face her sister’s abusive husband at his funeral, this story is creepy and packs a wallop. I hope you love it as much as I do. Please check it out. I’d love to hear what you think about it. It can be found in Issue 8S. Enjoy.

Choosing to Stand Still has been accepted for publication—Again!

pexels-photo-94898Hello all,

I recently discovered that the website where my short story, “Choosing to Stand Still” was being hosted was taken down, as the literary magazine changed sites and didn’t move its archive pages. Seeing as it was without a home, and the rights to the story had long since reverted to me, I started shopping it out to see if I could find a new home for it on the web.

Mission accomplished! In August, “Choosing to Stand Still” will be published at Fiction on the Web.

I will follow up as soon as I have more information. Thanks as always for standing by me and for your unending support.

Oh, and I’m in a twitter competition—the most votes gets me further in the contest. If you like my pitch, you can vote by liking or retweet the tweet on twitter.

Thanks again for all of the wonderful things you do! You guys give me the strength to keep at it day after day.

Cover Reveal: Hearts are Like Balloons by Candace Robinson

 

Today I’m hosting a cover reveal for Hearts are Like Balloons, a new YA novel by Candace Robinson. This cover reveal was organized by Lola’s Blog Tours. The cover is designed by Jenny Zemanek from Seedlings Online.

Hearts are Like Balloons

By Candace Robinson

Genre: Contemporary

Age category: Upper Young Adult

Release Date: June 30, 2017

Hearts Are Like Balloons

Blurb:

May Falkner’s past two years have been a rough road. When her father suddenly passes away, May needs to find a job to help out her mom and regain some control over her life. Working at the bookstore helps her heal, laugh, and hope again. It also leads her to cross paths with Nico Evitts, who begins as just a co-worker, but becomes so much more

When it all becomes perfect, because there is no perfect, life steps in to prove once again that it all can crash down harder than before. This is a story about finding yourself, love, and the things in life that are still here.

Hearts are like balloons. Sometimes they inflate… Sometimes they deflate…

You can find Hearts are Like Balloons on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34807723-hearts-are-like-balloons

Pre-order your copy of Hearts are Like Balloons for only $0.99 on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Hearts-Like-Balloons-Candace-Robinson-ebook/dp/B0722ZHDMP/

Candace Robinson

About the Author:
Candace Robinson is just your average hemiplegic migraine sufferer. Her days are spent writing, book reviewing and traveling through books. She live just outside of Houston, Texas, where it feels like the hottest place on Earth with the crazy weather. No, seriously, one day it’s 30 degrees and the next it’s 70 degrees! She resides with her husband and daughter.

You can find and contact Candace here:
Website
Facebook
Twitter
Goodreads
Amazon
Instagram

Giveaway
There is a cover reveal wide giveaway for the cover reveal of Hearts are Like Balloons. One winner will win a $5 amazon gift card.

For a chance to win, enter the rafflecopter below:
a Rafflecopter giveaway

banner Lolas Blog Tours

“Blue Ice” has been accepted for publication!

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I have some great news today! My latest short story”Blue Ice” has been accepted for publication!!

“Blue Ice” is the story of a woman forced to confront her sister’s abusive husband at the funeral ceremony being held in his honor. It’s one of my weirder stories, and I’m really excited about it.

I’ll give you a quick taste now. Here’s the opening line.

“Staring at the waxy figure resting within its polished wooden coffin, I had to wonder why the real bastards in this world always died a bit too late.”

The piece will be published in the Spring/Summer issue of Corvus Review. For now, stay tuned for when the story goes up. I really can’t wait to share this one with you.

Thanks as always for remaining awesome and supportive!

40 Reasons Why I Write

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Relatively recently, Bryan Hutchinson issued a challenge on his blog, Positive Writer – list 40 reasons why you write. You can see his answers here. When it came about, I was in the throws of Camp NaNoWriMo. As that is now complete, and I’m taking a small break from the novel so I can attack it again in July’s edition of Nano, I needed this challenge. It’s been difficult to stay motivated, because the hits just keep coming in both my personal and professional life. So, I’m going to take some time to remind myself why I write. I hope you find my answers either interesting or inspirational. Also, I am so incredibly late to this challenge.

  1. Writing keeps my brain busy. With my ADHD, my brain is always spinning anyway, so this gives it something to work on in the background.
  2. Stories haunt me, and I have to get them out.
  3. I have had a lot of trauma and strange events in my life, and I need an outlet.
  4. Sometimes, I like to live vicariously through my characters.
  5. Sometimes, I like to bury myself in my characters so I can forget life.
  6. My son looks up to me for creating whole stories all by myself, and there’s no beating that.
  7. Writing is a strong bond I share with my husband, as he is also an author.
  8. Writing is a strong bond I share with my sister-in-law. She is also an author.
  9. Writing has helped me make amazing friendships, some that are sure to be lifelong.
  10. I like how writing makes me feel, like I am weaving worlds from my imagination.
  11. The sense of accomplishment I feel when I finally get something right is amazing.
  12. Rewriting has taught me all about perseverance. Frustration, but perseverance.
  13. I like to read things I love over and over again, so this was probably a fitting career choice.
  14. I love to paint with words.
  15. I love to listen to music, and music always inspires me to paint with my words.
  16. Clever dialogue is all around me. What would I do if I didn’t jot some of it down and use it for my own benefit?
  17. My best friend has yoga. I have writing.
  18. The creative people on my journey with me are the best people.
  19. My characters tend to be stronger than I am. Or at least, than I was. These days, I seem to be taking a page from my own book. Writing has encouraged me to be stronger.
  20. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I won’t get anywhere in this business, or something is wrong with the core of a particular story, etc. I intend to prove them very wrong.
  21. When my anxiety disorder, my depression, my PTSD rears up, writing helps me cope.
  22. Because, as a woman, and as a woman with physical and mental health issues, my voice and my individual experiences deserve to be heard.
  23. I love reading so much, and I know how it feels to really connect with a character. I would love to be able to provide that for someone else.
  24. I’ve always loved playing with voice and word choice, seeing how different an outcome I can create just by finding a more exact bit of syntax.
  25. Writing often helps me to put feelings I’m dealing with into words, to tell truths through my characters that I can’t articulate properly in reality.
  26. I honestly don’t know what I would do with all the spare time I’d get if I didn’t write or plan to write.
  27. When I’m writing I can temporarily put off other, more important chores. But not the most important ones, of course. 😉
  28. I still believe in magic, and sometimes, writing feels like magic. Like when something inexplicably comes together, and it feels like destiny, that feels like magic. That is the rare moment where I become a believer.
  29. How else can I justify talking to the people who live in my brain?
  30. I’m stubborn and I’ve said I’m going to do it, so damn it, I’m going to do it.
  31. Some of the most fascinating people I’ve ever met write, so I hope some of that rubs off on me.
  32. Sometimes, I’m not all that adventurous, so I need an excuse to try new and interesting things. Research gives me that excuse.
  33. I was already a fact hoarder. This gives me a reason to hoard facts.
  34. I hate waste, and I feel like I have a lot of knowledge and random experiences that just kind of sit around in my brain and go to waste. I want to give them some use. Like my two years working at an ice cream shop. I’m using that in my latest book.
  35. There are tons of stories that I want to read, that I don’t find out there. I’ve always been a bit of a control freak. They say, if you want something done, do it yourself, right?
  36. I’m getting to a point where rejections mean almost nothing to me. I’m numb to rejection.
  37. Unless, they come with constructive criticism, at which point I am disappointed, but I have learned to love constructive criticism and view it as encouragement and help, rather than an insult. I think writing has helped to improve my personality in that way.
  38. I have also become able to tell the difference between constructive knowledgeable criticism and insults, being led astray, and jealous attacks designed to keep a person below them. That lesson has helped me in all areas of my life.
  39. I have a side gig as an editor, and I’ve always believed that, if you are going to manage people, you should be willing to get your hands dirty. If I won’t get my hands dirty with words, why should I tell other people to do so?
  40. I love to geek out. It’s my life’s mission to make other people geek out as much as I do.

So, there are my 40 reasons! Do you need to remind yourself why you love something? Share your reasons in the comments, and thank you for being one of the people I’ve encountered on this journey, the people I write for. Thank you for being one of my reasons. ❤